Its been almost two months since her passing. I dreamt of her last night. It was the 1st time i had dreamt of her since she “left”. It was a very vivid dream. Still young, plump faced. I could almost touch her. She was very real in my dream, like flesh. I can still remember her smile in the dream.
It felt like yesterday when we used to hang out with each other. The very mention of her or even the thought of her brings tears to my eyes. I still miss her.
This Friday will be the 3rd Week she has left us (3rd Dec) and this Friday will also be the death anniversary of another person who was pivotal in giving me this home and the people I now call family. You don’t know what is feels like to grieve. To tear at the slightest thought. To tremble when you see familiar sights, sounds, places. Her bed. Her room. Her clothes. Her photographs. To reminisce the days we had together – the laughing, jokes and insights shared.
And yes, this Friday will also be Christmas eve. I will miss her especially on that day because for the 1st time, I will not be visiting her, wheeling her to the Christmas tree i got her and feeding her stuff i bought for her to eat.
But I will also be rejoicing at the Birth of Jesus without which Salvation will not be possible. For this i thank God and almost every night I would ask Him to say hi to her for me, to tell her that i miss her and to thank her for everything.
I know that she has gone to a better place but i can’t help but miss her presence. There is a void. Not enough words can put together how i feel. Its a mixed bag of emotions.
I just want to sleep but will have to go back to work tomorrow and tomorrow is a long day too.
Perhaps work will ease the pain.
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